Sadness Coffee

A love a nightmare
a nightmare,
not love.

As night
gives up
at the first hint of
morning

itself
to drowsiness.

T
u
m
b
l

from the kitchen cabinet
in poly packs 

milk,
coffee.

A new day has begun.

Its warmth wins new territory,
its aroma breeds salubrious peace,
its froth bloats.
Tall as hope.

Only the bitterness doesn’t go.

Twenty sugar cubes wasted- a life
that’s swirling like a nightmare
is a nightmare
not life.

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Where are the Girls

Where are those girls?
Who carried warm water in their purse.
Saving for later, for a whiny day.
Dipped tea-leaves in it and splashed in the faces 
of the child-men who came to them timidly.
Brave girls!
Memories of them 
petered and lost in my heart.
In correct times impermissible, unwise, perhaps?
So, whisper, whisper.

Benevolence, one part, and lust, another- a meady concoction of the seventh heaven
and, thrill as their bait.
Thus the trade- oh the trade is so onesided that I’d trade my house, my cars, and the damn dog away for I could be thrilled instead.

Where are they gone? 
The lithe girls who carried perfumed water in their crotches,
would raise a war with the lift of an eyebrow- or a titter storm?
Are they done now, gone now, even now, ashes now, coward now?
The children of a norm?


I Stand Nearer to You

I stand nearer to you. Not you.
The you that I adore.
Will give my life to-
To you-
To you-
Not you.

My love will shine like the blinding drops of summer, will parch us,
and will overcome us like rain.
Greasy strands of memories would put salt on our wounds.

In the bitter rain I will cling to you, to you, to you.
Not you.
You will be there when I am dry.

It is in this indecision I live my life, my darling.
Separating you.

You, whom I both hate and love.


Our Burning Lady

Charlemagne, the Holy Roman Emperor watched the cathedral burning. The Crown of Thorns had turned into ashes, and the old relics were gone.

The brave Emperor thought what more could be done now? As his horse, his vassals and he himself were legless- a bronze piece of fiction.

While the wind around him gushed terribly, thick with smoke and embers, stiflingly warm.

The old Emperor grunted, turned around in disgust, and asked a horrified tourist to carry him to the Rue de la Bûcherie.


Whims, Live

My whims, my whims, live-

You are paid- you are paid with my time,

A time that’s paved with blocks of lightness,

Live, so that you and I align.


My sky, my sky, spread-

Metered with clouds, fickle, a rain-

Wash my inner streets, my inside-

Lissome wet, come to me again.


My bitter, my bitter, stay-

We are naive, we are pure, who?

In a love feral, blood soaked and infinite-

I am dog-tired, if you only knew.


2025

A man who had known me for a long time said encouragingly once, “At fifty, if you keep fit, a few women will surely be attracted to you.”

He was driving. I don’t drive. I waited, uncomfortably, beside him, pretending glee. While my eyes were on the windscreen watching a cow licking a wounded bull on the road. Who knew who she belonged to.

The man shifted the soliloquy to self-driving cars. Two thousand twenty five was not so far away. Robots would take our jobs. Money would be hummed out of a million servers. AI would write our poems.

The feminists would destroy our families. The sisters would take our children away and make them eat kale breakfast, why? Because, that they can!

Men would not know their place. Love would be disastrous for personal ego, et cetera.

“Only cows’, he said,

‘only cows, if free, if they so would desire, would unflinchingly adore the bulls in the small hum of sweltering asphalt roads. And that would be a sight of hope.”


Happiness Girls

Happiness girls are standing on the tarmac of a red plane- bare teeth, pulsing; their breasts are proud like upper class- their leggings plump boast like hope.

In the dream of a dream of the edgy runway lights. The turn from here is a stroll. A norm-bound, debt-bound a port that devours and despises a man who’s drunk one too many on the flight, cheap and on the red eye. Now leering.

There.

From the nose to the tail of the plane- fluttering and fleet like flames- ebullient nymphs, women who know no bitterness. A sea of plain and contrite men who have lusted but not made a claim- burlesque!- the girls are giggling and raising my hope.

Not to stop now, not to stray from the path, and not to forget the rules of a monogamous love; and to go on without the hope of a lay with the happiness girls is for the best, I know.

But, heavens, I am so sad.