I stand nearer to you. Not you.
The you that I adore.
Will give my life to-
To you- To you-
My love will shine like the blinding drops of summer, will parch us;
and will overcome us like rain.
Frizzy strands of memories would put salt on our wounds.
In the bitter rain I will cling to you, to you, to you. Not you.
You will be there when I am dry.
It is in this indecision I live my life, my darling.
You, whom I both hate and love.
That’s how I learned to inhale long and deep
and exhale quick.
On a bed for forty years, one small bed, we one.
I could have chosen (Could I not?) to follow another man
Or lived like a fairy, sans
But, God, it surely felt good to make him mine.
Not in a quest to find love. No, no-
As it happens in dark halls, pages, in glitter rains-
I, with him; freed and tussled in a crammy bed,
Shredded each other for pleasure and pain.