I stand nearer to you. Not you.
The you that I adore.
Will give my life to-
My love will shine like the blinding drops of summer, will parch us,
and will overcome us like rain.
Greasy strands of memories would put salt on our wounds.
In the bitter rain I will cling to you, to you, to you.
You will be there when I am dry.
It is in this indecision I live my life, my darling.
You, whom I both hate and love.
That’s how I learned to inhale long and deep
and exhale quick.
On a bed for forty years, one small bed, we one.
I could have chosen (Could I not?) to follow another man
Or lived like a fairy, sans
But, God, it surely felt good to make him mine.
Not in a quest to find love. No, no-
As it happens in dark halls, pages, in glitter rains-
I, with him; freed and tussled in a crammy bed,
Shredded each other for pleasure and pain.